There is a misconception that emotional abuse in relationships, whether heterosexual or gay, isn't very traumatic. This is far from the truth. The fact is that emotional abuse, while not only being traumatic at the time, leaves scars that last a long time.
I was in an abusive relationship where my girlfriend was very manipulative, controlling and very good at belittling. The abuse was largely emotional, though she did hit me once. And frankly, she only needed to do it once. I did pretty much anything to avoid any further blows. The constant negativity that was part of my everyday life not only made me tired, it also wore down my self confidence and will to stand up for myself. I was constantly anxious, I frequently suffered from nausea. I lost approximately 10kgs. I became an empty, shallow version of myself.
I was in the relationship for nearly 5 years, three of which were extremely abusive. I have been out of the relationship for 2 years and I am still receiving counseling to deal with the trauma. The sad thing is that when I speak about the emotional abuse, I generally receive dismissive comments that devalue and minimise the trauma of my experience.
I have begun to challenge the people who say these comments. It is disrespectful and arrogant of these people to assume that just because I and anyone else who has experienced this type of abuse don't have just as much trauma as someone who has visible visible scars and bruises. If these comments aren't challenged, not only will the comments continue, but emotional abuse will continue to be dismissed and minimised and the survivors of the abuse will have more pain to deal with on top of the intense pain and trauma they already have.
I call for all survivors of emotional abuse to stand up and speak against these comments. To stand up and assert the real trauma they have. To stand up and be strong. To just stand. Emotional abusers seek to steal our voices. The people who make unsympathetic and dismissive comments are also stealing our voices. No one has the right to abuse another, whether physically or emotionally. And no one has the right to belittle the experiences of another with dismissive comments.
I was in an abusive relationship where my girlfriend was very manipulative, controlling and very good at belittling. The abuse was largely emotional, though she did hit me once. And frankly, she only needed to do it once. I did pretty much anything to avoid any further blows. The constant negativity that was part of my everyday life not only made me tired, it also wore down my self confidence and will to stand up for myself. I was constantly anxious, I frequently suffered from nausea. I lost approximately 10kgs. I became an empty, shallow version of myself.
I was in the relationship for nearly 5 years, three of which were extremely abusive. I have been out of the relationship for 2 years and I am still receiving counseling to deal with the trauma. The sad thing is that when I speak about the emotional abuse, I generally receive dismissive comments that devalue and minimise the trauma of my experience.
I have begun to challenge the people who say these comments. It is disrespectful and arrogant of these people to assume that just because I and anyone else who has experienced this type of abuse don't have just as much trauma as someone who has visible visible scars and bruises. If these comments aren't challenged, not only will the comments continue, but emotional abuse will continue to be dismissed and minimised and the survivors of the abuse will have more pain to deal with on top of the intense pain and trauma they already have.
I call for all survivors of emotional abuse to stand up and speak against these comments. To stand up and assert the real trauma they have. To stand up and be strong. To just stand. Emotional abusers seek to steal our voices. The people who make unsympathetic and dismissive comments are also stealing our voices. No one has the right to abuse another, whether physically or emotionally. And no one has the right to belittle the experiences of another with dismissive comments.
